Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dear Ethan...

Ethan is 7.
Ethan is 7???
How can this be.
It seems like only yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital.
All 9lbs.7oz. With lots of dark hair. Skin so soft. Smelling so good.
Now he's 7?
Where have the years gone?

Last night, before I tucked the kids in, I begged Ethan to let me hold him on my lap like a baby.
He of course thought this was quite weird and silly.
The other boys thought this was hilarious.
I thought it was sad.
I rocked him and sang him the song I always sing to my kids when they are babies.
"You Are My Sunshine"
I cried.
I told him what he was like as a baby and how small he was.
How is it that he is so big now, and that I barely even noticed that he was growing so much?
How did I not pay attention?
I told him how I used to kiss his cheeks all the time.
I remember his baby cheeks were so soft.
I remember his fuzzy little head.
He had the biggest smile.
The brightest eyes.

So we cuddled for as long as he would let me.
I told him he had to let me hug him and kiss him even though he was growing up and when he was a man He still had to let me give him hugs and kisses.
He said o.k.
Then I told him I guess I would let him turn 7.
But I really just wanted to stop time and not let him get any bigger.

Dear Ethan,
Happy Birthday.
We love you so much.
You have brought so much happiness into our lives.
So much energy, so much excitement.
Everything you do, you do with so much joyfulness.
My heart is so happy that you love Jesus, and that you already want to know more about Him.
You have such a servant heart, always ready to help your brothers of sister or me and you dad. I hope you continue to have that heart. Such a big heart full of love.
So I guess I'll let you grow up, even though I don't want to let you to. I wish I could keep you my little boy forever. And soon you'll think you're too big and grown up to have your mom kiss and hug you....but I'll never stop loving you, never stop rooting for you, never stop praying for you. Because you'll always be my little boy, no matter what!


  1. This was a truly beautiful post! I was imagining Aidyn at 7 years old... I cant even imagine, and I know its right around the corner!

    My heart is sort of sad knowing he wont be my baby anymore.. but like you said.. he'll always be my little boy! :)

    You are such an awesome mom! I love it!

    P.S. The bottle of vodka was NOT mine! It was my parents. I only had a half a shot full! :) Jaclyn asked me about it.. and I burst out laughing! NOOOO i wasn't dreading being with my family! :) ha ha!

  2. Oh Joy you made me cry. I think you are an amazing mother that does pay attention to all these small things...the important things..the things that matter most in this life...they just grow up so fast...we have to embrace every single day we get with them even though there are moments they make us want to scream and pull our hair out.

    Beautiful post Joy! Happy Birthday Ethan!

  3. I got all teary-eyed, too! Just yesterday (or the day before--no I think it was yesterday) I got to lay my head down for a glorious nap with the sun beating into the room right on the bed where I was sleeping and I had the most delicious pillow. Anyway (I think it was the best nap I have ever had), as i was drifting off to sleep, I got all sad because I was thinking about my baby's poop. he is 7 months old now and he is starting to eat solids and I am so sad because my last baby is passed the nursing only stage. I am not ready for this. I am so sad!
    As my 3 year old likes to tell me, "You don't want us to get bigger."
    And I like to tell her, "No, I don't want you to get bigger, but I do want you to get bigger. It's very complex."

  4. They do grow up too fast! Happy Birthday to him!

  5. I know this is almost 2 years old, but it still made me cry. :') So beautiful!